First Name Fear then Set Goals
Did you spend time this year planning your vacation? I bet it was more time than you spent planning how to achieve your life goals?
I was reading recently and came across this statement most people spend more time planning their annual vacation than they do how to achieve their life goals.
That is true, and in part, it is true because most people don’t have life goals. They don’t have a north star (or constellation) that guides the decisions they make like
How to spend time, talent, and treasure
Who to be in relationship with
What to say yes to and what to say no to
When to change direction
The results of not having life goals are tragic
Anxiety, sadness, depression, confusion, disengagement
Broken relationships, regret, or isolation
Debt, lack of savings, but lots of clutter (I mean stuff)
A career spent working for the weekend, and when the weekend arrives wishing it away for the comfort of the routines of the week
Busyness, rush, distraction, addiction
Having life goals is the gateway to living more intentionally. It is the X that marks the spot on the treasure map of a life filled with joy, contentment, engagement, and impact. It doesn’t guarantee a life free of hurdles, but it does lead to a life of more significance, better outcomes and fewer regrets.
Step one to having life goals seems like it would be to set life goals. But I suggest stepping back and first considering, why don’t you have life goals already, or if you have them, why aren’t you organizing more of your life around them?
Common reasons from my experiences
I am afraid I will pick the wrong ones
I am afraid I will fail at achieving the goals
I am afraid people will judge me, my goals, or the way I am living to achieve them
I am afraid I will let people down when I start to live differently
I am afraid of what thinking about goals will reveal about me
I am afraid it is too late or too soon to start
I am afraid of what I will miss out on (FOMO)
I am afraid of upsetting my current state of comfort
Fear is a powerful force. Fear is the most common reason we don’t achieve the greatness we were intended to live. Fear is paralyzing.
But more than anything else, fear is a liar. Before you figure out what your life goals should be. Figure out what you are afraid of. Try answering these questions so you can name your fear.
What am I afraid will happen if I were to set goals and organize my life around achieving those goals?
What is the worst thing I fear will happen if I set life goals and begin to try and achieve them?
If the worst thing I fear happens, so what? What will the impact be…really?
Naming fear is the first step to getting past it. The benefits of naming your fear are
You can identify it when it is around
You can prepare for it
You can plan strategies to defeat it
You can tell others about it, and they can share strategies to defeat it
And when you begin to defeat fear, you reap the rewards of living more fearlessly, and doesn’t that sound heroic!