Intentional reflection leads to better outcomes
This picture is a masterpiece. It was what I discovered when I arrived at the RV service center and asked myself where did I put the tool for the sway bar.
I didn’t put the tool there after I arrived; it had made the 10-mile journey from my house to the service center without falling off of my bumper. The journey had more than a few curves, including a roundabout, some stop-and-go traffic but also stretches of road with speeds of up to 65 mph.
My initial reaction was relief. That tool is essential in the process of unhitching the trailer. I was glad I didn’t lose it.
My second reaction was “self-high five” I had managed to drive so safely that the tool didn’t fall off. My hauling has gotten a lot better.
As I reflected later on the encounter, my third reaction was.
What a stupid second reaction. A more mature response would have been wow, I am so thankful I avoided the major inconvenience of losing the tool on the trip. The time and financial impacts of losing the tool would have been noticeable. Plus I would have had to admit I was careless, how embarrassing.
That caused me to think what could I do differently in this situation in the future to avoid having to be thankful that nothing bad happened or no one got hurt that badly.
Not a camper owner. Curious how this applies to you?
You probably experience similar situations regularly. A work project that miraculously got done on time but at a cost that leaves you wondering was it worth it? Or the habit/distraction/numbing activity that hasn’t totally ruined your life yet, but leaves you telling yourself that was the last time or I need to do something different. How about the relationship where good periods are interrupted by not-so-good (maybe even dangerous), but you just keep staying.
You may not own a camper, but you have had moments where your reaction to the outcome of a situation was relief, followed by false courage/confidence/comfort.
My guess is that whatever your moments are, they have happened more than once, and you still haven’t considered whether there is a better way.
So What?
Next time when something ends in an outcome that isn’t desirable, do these three things to plan for a better outcome in the future instead of celebrating having survived the experience.
When something ends in an outcome that really isn’t that good, try to plan for a better outcome in the future.
1. Take time to reflect. What happened that led to the poor outcome? What role did you play in creating the outcome?
In my instance. I was mentally not totally engaged in the task. It was really windy, so I was reminding myself to go slow; I was concerned about the amount of traffic I would encounter, and this was my first trip hauling the trailer since getting work done on my truck; I was concerned with would it stand up to the extra load of the trailer. So instead of doing my full checklist of pre-travel things. I stopped short of doing the things I knew to be wise; instead, I focused on trying to ease my nerves by getting the trip over.
2. Take time to plan for the next time. Once you know the role you played in the near-disaster, consider what actions you can take in the future to avoid a similar outcome?
In my instance, next time I will follow my checklist. I moved it to a more obvious place where it would be much harder to forget the next time.
3. Take time to be thankful and give yourself some grace.
You survived. That is something worth being thankful for. It means at the end of the day, you had an experience worth learning from, and since you survived an opportunity to apply what you learned.
To quote Einstein, “doing the same thing and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.”
They replace insanity with another “I” word; intentionality. Stop repeating behaviors that are leading to poor outcomes and instead reflect on poor outcomes so you can intentionally do things differently in the future.
Conclusion
Bad outcomes = chances to learn.
What it might cost you to live intentionally is far more tolerable than the cost of experiencing an avoidable tragedy. The cost of being intentional is a positive multiplier; the cost of an avoidable tragedy is far less positive.