The goal is to chase after the light, not avoid the darkness
We are in the process of selling our home. One of the impacts is that projects that are never at the top of the priority list when you live in a home become a higher priority. One such project for us was edging the driveway. Our home sits on a driveway that is .1 miles long and is double-sided, so that means it is .2 miles of edging. Even with the right tools, this is a big job. Too much work it turned out for me to tackle consecutively.
About halfway through the project, I got more than just tired. My wrist started to ache, I was lightheaded, I literally had to sit down and rest. One of my daughters passed by and asked if I was okay and offered to get me water. I was physically incapable of finishing the work.
My physical exhaustion leads me into a dark place mentally. Lots of negative self-talk about how out of shape I was, how I had neglected myself for the past 6 months, and now look at me. I am incapable of completing a simple physical task. Luckily for me, in this instance, I was able to wrangle the negative self-talk into submission and replace it with some truth.
And some of the truth’s I arrived at apply to you too.
As I was fighting with my demons in the darkness of my mind, I began to emerge with some healthy thoughts about the reality of life. Here are some reminders for the moments you enter the darkness in whatever form it takes for you (negative self-talk, doubt, fear, shame, etc.)
Lie #1
The Lie: The goal is not to never visit dark places.
The Truth. The goal is to not dwell and certainly not to choose to reside in the darkness. The goal is to get out of the darkness as quickly as reasonable. The goal is to charge towards the light with pace and purpose. We are people made for the light. Chase after your light.
It is from the darkness that we are challenged and convicted of our need to change. Pushed to the brink of disaster, we are faced with a choice do I stay in the darkness and die to my truth, or do I fight on and chase after the light until I emerge victoriously. When we choose a position of power where we learn, grow, and evolve into who we are intended to be, to advance forward on our journey, not to retreat in defeat, we emerge victorious. When we chase the light, we live authentically, embracing our design as powerful minds capable of advanced thought and evolution of the mind.
How: Ask yourself what darkness am I currently experiencing? Why might I be experiencing it? What actions am I taking that are keeping me stuck here? What alternative actions could I take that are healthier and more helpful?
Lie #2
The lie. Healthy people never have negative thoughts or moments of doubt. Healthy people completely understand their truth and always live out of it, constantly reassuring themselves that they are like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way.
The Truth: The danger is in believing the lies and letting them become your truth. It is only in times of doubt that we learn important lessons that further our ability to become who we were meant to be. We learn:
To trust and rely on others for guidance. Forced to search out and build healthy relationships like we are intended to have as relational beings. Finding mentors and wise counselors who will speak the truth to our lies.
To seek out and validate our truth. Finding the specific examples of proof points that allow us to cast aside lies.
To sharpen our weapons of courage, perseverance, intelligence, and desire. Committing ourselves to consistently chase after truth.
It is only when we are challenged and choose to see past the darkness of our shadow into the light that we find the better version of ourselves. In order to experience the beauty of living out of light, we must know what the pain of the darkness feels like.
How: Ask yourself what truth should I replace the doubt with? What is the evidence that supports the truth? Who can I share what I am going through with that will provide helpful advice on how to get out?
Lie #3
The lie: We should be ashamed in defeat.
The Truth: No one wins every time; perfection is an allusion. The shame is found in living defeated. Losing is the first step in identifying an area where you can get better. It is a lesson learned. All lessons are meant to be learned, not to be taught. Don’t let a defeat be an end; claim it as a beginning. A step towards a brighter future. A step out of past darkness towards the light up ahead.
How: Ask yourself what is the lesson I should be learning from my current momentary visit in the darkness?
Conclusion
Light is always on the other side of the darkness. It is the way the world was designed with a new day (light), following every night (dark). With the sun emerging after every storm. With rebirth following death, according to many world religions. The world was spoken into life by the addition of light. Let the hope of living in the light speak life into you.
To do that
Admit when you are in darkness. Put a name to it. What is it, and why?
Resist the comfort in the ease of staying in the darkness. Of avoiding the fight.
Remind yourself you are a visitor to this place, not a resident.
Commit to identify what lesson is to be learned and fight to learn it.
Resist taking the victim mindset. Don’t view the dark as something that is just happening to you, and someday it will be over.
Remind yourself that you are capable of learning the lesson and moving back into the light.
Submit to the discomfort of learning the lesson and doing the hard work required to move beyond the dark into the light
Resist the urge to choose distraction in all of its forms.
Remind yourself distraction is temporary progress is permanent.