Are you more accountability or grace when you lead others, why not both?
I have heard it said that two types of leadership are at odds. Leadership that focuses on driving results through accountability and leadership that focuses on creating comfortable employee environments through empathy and grace. I don’t think they should be at odds with each other instead all leaders need both. Here is why
Accountability without grace is a belief in perfection.
To quote a song lyric, you operate believing that through your leadership, “perfection is perfected.”
Perfection meaning you operate from the mindset that as a leader, you ALWAYS perfectly give directions and assign EVERY task to a person who is perfectly able to complete the task, and that person is NEVER going to experience any adversity (controllable or not) when completing the task.
Said another way, accountability without grace is an approach that says you have created the perfect plan, assigned the perfect person to execute the plan (which they will do perfectly), and you can control the world at large, preventing anything from getting in the way of your perfection. However, in the rare instance that something does go wrong, it is the result of negligence, so there must be a consequence.
Grace without accountability is a belief in total hopelessness.
It’s the Eeyore mindset, “it’s all for naught.”
Hopelessness meaning you operate out of the mindset that people will ALWAYS fall short of the expectation, that EVERY plan is flawed, so it is impossible to execute well, and you can NEVER expect things to fall into place. A belief that failure is inevitable, so what is the point of even trying to push others to achieve results according to a plan? It is better to keep people smiling as the world around you gets in the way of progress.
Said another way grace without accountability is believing that people are hopelessly out of control of their situation. That no amount of planning, preparation, or execution will lead to the expected outcomes. There is no need to have any consequences for anything that happens. Just give people reassurance that everything will be okay, and it isn’t their fault things didn’t go as expected; they will get them next time.
What leaders should do with accountability and grace.
Life is neither perfect nor hopeless, so we must take a Dr. Seuss mindset who said in Oh The Places You’ll Go, “Be sure when you step, step with care and great tact and remember life is a great balancing act.”
As a leader, you need to apply both accountability and grace. The challenge is to apply the right one to the right situation/person and do so in the wisest way. Here are some things you can do to show off wisdom more often.
Communicate clearly. It might be the what (a vision) or the how (directions); regardless, be clear and repetitive when communicating. Ask questions to confirm alignment as you go. The goal of communicating is to drive others to action, so if no one acts, you failed as the communicator. Hold yourself accountable for communicating clearly and give others grace as they figure out what it means for them.
Be realistic with expectations. When you confuse a donkey for a racehorse, you are the one who ends up looking like a jackass, especially if you enter them in a race and tell everyone they will win. But it’s just as unwise to attach a plow to a racehorse and expect your crops to grow in straight rows. When setting expectations around speed, what success looks like, and who can succeed, be realistic. Chose a responsible pace, set a challenging but fair goal, and assign the work to the person most skilled for the task. Hold others accountable for ultimately achieving the goal and for doing so at an as soon as reasonable pace. Give grace along the way as the unexpected happens. And go extra heavy on grace when someone is learning a new task.
Check in on a regular cadence. Don’t assume progress is being made or that it isn’t, don’t assume there are no issues or that there are, and don’t assume you were completely clear or unnecessarily murky. You know what they say about when you assume, don’t you? Check-in to evaluate how things are progressing. Hold people accountable for communicating the status honestly. Give grace as people learn how to communicate effectively, especially when advocating for a needed adjustment or delivering bad news. Agree on the cadence of check-ins, so it feels like support, not like micromanagement.
Provide feedback. Feedback comes in two shades (positive or negative) but in many different colors. When checking in, provide both shades of feedback but do so on various subjects. Provide feedback on the progress, the person's performance, the problems (controllable and not), and the potential (things that you or the other person thinks might impact the situation). Feedback should be actionable and specific. It’s a form of communication, so the goal of feedback is to drive others to action. To get them to do more of what is working or change what is not. Hold yourself accountable for providing well-rounded feedback on a regular cadence. Be gracefully when telling someone they aren’t meeting the expectation.
Remain calm. The reason you need accountability and grace is that the road towards progress is rarely straight or trouble-free. You will encounter detours, delays, and dead ends. You might get out of the gate fast to only hit a snag down the road. So celebrate early success and push the panic button in moderation. Don’t get too high with the highs or too low with the lows. Just remain calm. To quote Kipling, “if you can meet success and failure and treat them both as imposters,” you are a mature leader who recognizes leadership is a journey, not a destination. Hold yourself and other leaders accountable for staying calm. Few things detour progress as much as demoralizing those doing the work; this is another opportunity to be graceful in how you deliver messages of success and failure on the journey.
Conclusion.
Perfection doesn’t exist. So as leaders, we must be willing to flex between accountability and grace. Leadership requires being flexible as we support others towards shared achievement.