Are you preparing to win or to be a not loser?
Lots of people talk about what it takes to win. Very few talk about trying not to lose.
Could you imagine the opinions that would be shared if a professional sports coach said the following in a post game press conference, “we really just tried our best to not lose the game today. We spent all week at practice working on the things we thought would best position us not to lose.” That coach would become a meme for sure.
A lot of folks believe that life is made up winners and losers. Like it is a binary choice, but I think there is actually a third category where most people operate. I call this group the not losers.
Not losers rarely wake up in the morning and say, today I am going to do my best just not to lose. In fact, they achieve lots of things and certainly wouldn’t considered themselves losers, but their actions are more closely related to trying not to lose then truly trying to win.
Here are four key differences between living to win and living not to lose.
Winners intentionally invest their time, talent, and treasure toward achieving a predetermined future state. Not losers have all those same things (time/talent/treasure), sometimes even more than winners. It’s the lack of intentionality that is the difference.
Winners have a budget they follow, use their calendars to manage what they do/don’t do, and work out of their talents more than they don’t. They do all of those things aimed toward an intentional future state. They know that absence of intention is what derails people not absence of things. Consider how:
If you don’t have a budget, you don’t stop spending money; but you don’t know if you are spending it wisely.
If you don’t know your talents, you may not be able to best align your work with your abilities to produce your best work.
If you don’t spend time on the most important things, you still spend 24 hours a day; but you typically feel exhausted and discouraged by what didn’t get done instead of energized by what you did.
Winners know winning requires moving forward at a better pace than the competition. Not losing focuses on not slipping backward.
I coaching I encourage peoples to only be competing with yesterday’s version of themselves. Competing with others isn’t super healthy. Suppose you are overweight. Winning looks like making the hard choices required to move towards a permanent healthier weight; not losing looks like not gaining more weight, even when that means riding the ups and downs of the weight roller coaster one more time. Winning looks like having health goals because it matters for your life goals, not losing looks like having health goals because you want to look like someone else.
Winners set measurable goals that they are actively working towards. Not losers have goals, but also an equal number of excuses why they are struggling to meet them.
They monitor progress and find ways to hold themselves accountable for achieving their goals. They know where they are headed and how well they are doing at getting there.
Winners have healthy relationships. Not losers have… well, it’s complicated.
Winners put as much focus and intention into who they include in their community as they do every other aspect of their lives. They know why each person in their community is part of the community and how to engage with people in a mutually beneficial way. People focused on not losing have unhealthy boundaries and unrealistic expectations of people. It’s not that they are necessarily alone or abusive; they just don’t place appropriate value on relationships, so people either come and go often or overstay their welcome.
Winners are actively engaged in building and maintaining GENUINE relationships.
Winners build helpful habits and execute them with excellence. Not losers are into fades and trends, looking for the quick win.
Winners know themselves well enough to know what habits will be helpful. They work hard at getting better through focused effort and continuous improvement. Winners view failure as part of a growth journey, not a flawed ending. Not losers try new things not because they think they are the right things for them but because it worked for someone else. They prefer the comfort of the status quo over the unknown of trying something new because, to them, failure is a four-letter word. Not losers might put in work, but the return on investment is inconsistent.
Conclusion
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about not losers is that they are lazy, unmotivated, or lacking ability. That isn’t true; some of the most driven people I know are not losers. They achieve lots of things, but despite the list of accomplishments, they don’t feel like they are winning.
Winners know what winning looks like specific to themselves and do what is necessary to win. They recognize that
Motion doesn’t always equal progress.
Outputs don’t always equal outcomes. Busyness isn’t always a barometer of effectiveness.
A crowded community or tons of followers isn’t always a sign of healthy relationships
Winners are more intentional about where they are headed, why they are headed there, how they will get there, and who they are inviting with them on the journey. Access a limited version of the Daily Impact Planner here. It helps bring the winner out in all of us.